Fair Warning, Michael (Part Three)
Breaking down a Connelly's novel
This is the Part Three of my in-depth structure and plot analysis of the novel Fair Warning by Michael Connelly.
In Part One and Two, I tried to explain where Connelly got the idea, how he fleshed characters out and how he developed the plot. In Part Three, I tackle twists and turns, examine red herrings and explore a lot of plot weaknesses. There’s a lot to learn.
This analysis contains writers alerts, to highlight strengths, and weaknesses alerts, to highlight weaknesses (not plot holes, guys, because Connelly never delivers plot holes…).
Fair Warning to the reader: It contains huge spoilers. If you didn’t read the novel and you plan to or if you simply don’t like spoilers, you should stop here.
Any comment would be much appreciated.
AN UNEXPECTED TURN
The police arrest McEvoy for obstructing the investigation. With this move Connelly beats his hero ago, underlines how much he is in danger, leading the reader to root even more for him.
Weakness. McEvoy's arrest is rather implausible, it seems more like a narrative ploy.
Anyway, Connelly decides to interrupt McEvoy's investigation also to introduce ...
SECOND SUBPLOT: HAMMOND
Connelly names an entire chapter after Hammond to introduce the character of the DNA merchant and his partner Vogel. But mainly he does it for two other reasons:
He wants to beat his hero again, so that in the first scene Hammond starts tackling McEvoy. In fact, he receives a message from his partner Vogel, who has hacked the LAPD systems and reports the arrest of a reporter, McEvoy. Hammond has a hunch, he suspects the reporter may be on their trail.
Weakness 1. But why the hell should the arrest of a reporter worry Hammond and why the hell may he suspect that McEvoy is on their trail?
Weakness 2. Hacking the LAPD systems is no small thing, but Connelly does not delve into the matter.
The other reason Connelly names a chapter after Hammond is to anticipate the reader about some element of the story that McEvoy will only discover later. In fact, we sense that Hammond has to do with the DNA business, with The Shrike and with Orton.
Writer Alert 1. Connelly uses the technique of anticipation extensively: he reveals clues to the reader before the hero finds them. He gives the reader an advantage over the hero.
Writer Alert 2. Notice how Hammond, the secondary villain, despite being a secondary villain, is perfectly integrated with all aspects and characters of the story: McEvoy, The Shrike, Orton. Guys, for a story to be good each element must be linked to the other and contribute to the overall design.
BACK TO JACK
After a night in prison, Jack is released and continues the investigation. Thanks to a source from Rachel, he finds a detective and a lawyer who had handled the Orton case and receives legal papers.
Emily investigates the Orange Nano business and discovers that they sell DNA to various companies, including one that seems suspicious because it’s based in a house owned by a man whose name is: Hammond. And as Emily notes, he only buys female DNA.
The reader already knew that Hammond is involved, and now, right away, the heroes find him. But the reader knows a lot more: he knows that Hammond is already on the trail of McEvoy and that he has to do with The Shrike. The heroes only suspect the existence of a serial killer, but they ignore he calls himself The Shrike.
THIRD SUBPLOT: THE SHRIKE
At this point, there is the first chapter titled “The Shrike”, in which the reader observe his moves. We are exactly halfway through the novel, so far. In this first chapter, The Shrike Hammond at home and questions him. At this point the reader finds out practically everything.
As the reader already knows, Hammond buys only female DNA from Orange Nano, isolates the Dirty Four gene and sells it on the dark web revealing the identity of the women that have it. In fact, he discovered their identities thanks to his associate Vogel, who hacked the GT23 computer system.
Weakness. So, this man Vogel not only hacked the police network, as we learned earlier, but also GT23’s. This ease of access to computer systems seems a bit forced and overused in this novel.
From Hammond grilled by The Shrike, the reader also learns that Hammond one day realized that four women with the dirty four gene were dead and noticed that only one client had "downloaded their details": The Shrike. And Hammond sent him an email to warn him.
Weakness 1. The fact that Hammond has noticed that four women with the dirty four died seems completely unlikely. How did he do it? Did he check all suspicious deaths of women to associate them with the names on his website? A monstrous job, frankly.
Weakness 2. What does it exactly mean that only The Shrike had "downloaded the details" of those four women with the dirty four gene? So, on the site there were not only a list of women with the dirty four gene, but also downloadable files? In any case, it seems implausible that only The Shrike downloaded those files. Those who have access to this genre of sites are more likely to compulsively look at all files.
Weakness 3. But why the hell would a merchant of illegal material on the dark web warn a client that he may be in danger? In the real world, these kinds of merchants never go out into the open with anyone.
Weakness 4. It’s not clear how The Shrike discovered Hammond's identity: in the email he sent him, did Hammond leave him his add? It would have been suicide for him.
After having interrogated him, The Shrike kills Hammond and removes anything that could lead to him from the room, or at least he believes he did it.
With this interrogation that reveals the whole plot, Connelly once again anticipates to the reader what his heroes will discover only shortly thereafter.
THE TURNING POINT
McEvoy discovers that Hammond, who has drawn Emily's suspicions as a buyer of female DNA, appears as a DNA consultant in the Orton case. This is the turning point of the investigation.
McEvoy goes with Rachel to Hammond's home/lab, and finds him dead. But thanks to a Rachel's intuition, he finds documents that the serial killer believed he had made disappear. These papers contain fundamental details: there are references to Hammond's dark web site and to the email Hammond wrote to The Shrike. There is everything. This is when McEvoy’s suspicions are confirmed: there is a serial killer out there, The Shrike.
Writer Alert. Rachel senses that whoever killed Hammond printed some documents and finds them because she knows that modern printers keep the latest files in memory. In your thrillers, always look for insights like these, less common clues, not the usual cigarette butt left at the crime scene. Sure, it's curious that The Shrike felt the need to PRINT the documents, but that is.
FALSE ALARM
At this point, our heroes fear The Shrike. And Connelly writes a scene with McEvoy and Rachel failing to track down Emily, fearing for her life, running to her and eventually… finding her safe. A false alarm useful to increase the tension and make McEvoy feel more and more in danger. A red herring, in other words.
Writer Alert. Red herrings can be called the mysteries’ succulent fillers.
THE LAST CHANCE
McEvoy's only way to get to The Shrike is to interrogate Hammond's partner., Vogel. He finds it thanks to the FBI, who identified him by analyzing Hammond's computers.
Weakness. It’s not clear why The Shrike just wiped the documents and didn’t physically destroy Hammond's computers.
McEvoy questions Vogel who says he knows The Shrike's identity but doesn't intend to reveal it. The Shrike runs over and kills him.
TIME JUMP - ANOTHER FALSE ALARM
The story jumps to hundred days after Vogel's death. McEvoy and Rachel are in a bar, they notice a suspect watching them and they catch him. But it's not The Shrike, it's an sort of copycat. Another false alarm, used to make McEvoy feel more and more in danger.
Writer alert. Another red herring, another succulent story filler.
THREE MONTHS LATER FINALE
Three months later, McEvoy left Fair Warning and started his own podcast: Journalism 2.0. The ending is predictable, a typical thriller cliché: The Shrike assaults McEvoy, who prevails. The Shrike is killed in an accident caused by McEvoy.
The identity of The Shrike remains unknown. Thus, the novel, which started out as a whodunit, turns out to be a "fake whodunit".
Writer Alert 1. The fact that nothing is known about The Shrike is a courageous choice by Connelly, but some readers may disagree. In any case, we can learn one thing from this: you can write a good thriller without necessarily having to reveal the identity of the killer and his story. It's like getting up from the table with a little more appetite. And it's also a way to leave door-to-door for a sequel.
Writer Alert 2. Before the final scene, McEvoy buys a new car. This is a Connelly’s brilliant choice to make it harder for the FBI to track McEvoy when The Shrike hides in his car,because no one knows the model of the vehicle. Small big details that make everything more believable.
Writer Alert 3. When McEvoy gets into his new car, Connelly takes care to tell us that he doesn't connect his phone to the car's bluetooth. He does it because then, when McEvoy gets Rachel's call while The Shrike is hiding under the back seat, Rachel can talk to him without being overheard.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Connelly confirms himself as one of the great masters of mystery plots. Something seems stretched, like the all-too-easy hacking of computer systems, and like Hammond's behavior towards the serial killer, but after all this is a plot without holes, realistic. And being realistic and exciting at the same time is an art.
In interviews, Connelly repeats that he is more interested in the characters than in the plot and has the merit of fleshing his characters out by letting us know them through their actions, without flashbacks, or psychological digressions.
But presently, he knows very well that plots must be bomb proof in the kind of stories he writes, and he takes care of it in every detail. In fact, he is one of the best mystery plot architects around, even if, as we have seen, there are some weaknesses. On the other hand, we are still in a novel.
Anyway, studying Connelly's structures is very instructive. He follows the thriller textbook, as demonstrated by the murder in the opening and the final hero-villain confrontation, but this teaches that if a teacher like him follows the textbook, why an aspiring writer shouldn't? Then, nothing prevents us from finding original twists and turns to stand out.
In the end, the main advice is: if you want to write a mystery, learn from masters like Connelly to build plots without holes.
In three words: outline, outline, outline.
THE END
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